It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Draft

ESPN. The world wide leader in sports. Innovative beyond belief. Pioneers of the way sports and society interact. My favorite channel on TV. The creators of SportsCenter, the only show people will watch the same episode of over and over and over... And last but not least, the channel exclusively featuring only topics related to and concerning the NFL Draft.

On Thursday, amidst a very sticky and seemingly irreparable labor dispute, the 2011 NFL draft began at Radio City Music Hall in New York City. As boos showered down upon Commissioner Goodell, the event which ESPN had been meticulously covering since Mr. Irrelevant was drafted in the 2010 NFL Draft, had finally begun. The hundreds of hours spent analyzing players and their abilities had finally come to fruition. All the sweat, tears, and blood of dozens of collegiate athletes, and in Mel Kiper Jr's case, gallons of hair gel, had all been pointing to this day. The commercials, the 10-minute-long segments on SportsCenter, the constant interviews with Kiper and Todd McShay. They all were pieces of a puzzle that had finally been put together. But the puzzle had sadly become a 5000 piece jigsaw extravaganza.

I don't think there's a single event in American sports which does not involve actual competition that gets this much coverage. I say American sports because the draw for the World Cup is probably the most important sporting event that doesn't involve actual competition. However, we live in the USA and people don't realize (or care about) the importance of the draw. Anyways, that is not the discussion of this post. I just find it incredible that there is so much hype, advertising, and promotion of this event. It has become obnoxious and suffocating.

I understand. The NFL is currently recognized as the most popular professional sports league in our grand country. The sports masses have a addiction and there's only one cure.... more football. So transitively, the NFL Draft would of course become extremely popular. But still, I see Kiper and McShay on SportsCenter in May of 2010 projecting for the 2011 Draft. Once the Super Bowl is over, the reporting goes into overdrive, being rivaled in a historical context only by the media's coverage of the OJ Simpson trial and Michael Jackson's death. Obviously people need their NFL crack when the actual season is over. I get that. The addiction is hard to shake. But really EPSN? Every other commercial has to advertise the draft? I know the draft is on ESPN. Where the hell else would it be? I know that my team's future could be either built or destroyed. I don't need to be reminded every five minutes. Really? The Packers built their Super Bowl championship team through the draft? I thought they did so by importing small Japanese refugees and forcing them to train night in and night out to become football machines.

Listen, I love ESPN. I spend about 70% my internet time on ESPN.com. I spend about 60% of my TV viewing time on ESPN (acccording to Elias Sports Bureau). But its the Entertainment Sports Programming Network, not the NFL Draft Programming Network. While some coverage of the Draft is necessary and enjoyable, I think they've gotten a bit excessive in the past few years. The Draft Day coverage is nauseating. I almost lost my dinner listening to Chris Berman and the other pundits dissect each pick. And I didn't even eat a dinner. Gruden praises each draftee like they're the next (insert elite hall of famer of a given position here). And he has this stupid "Quarterback Camp" now that is the most obnoxious hour of sports television since the second time the World Series of Poker had an hour long segment. They need to tone it down. ESPN has become fatten from Draft gluttony. They're like the guy in Se7en who died from eating too much.

The solution is simple. Cover the draft in moderation. Give Kiper and McShay some time but only ten minutes on the second Thursday of every month, starting 3 months before the draft. Supplement the new massive quantities of open airtime with other sports. Get some variety going. Acknowledge hockey for once. Attempt to get people interested in soccer. Explain the rules of cricket. Make the sporting populous an educated one.

The NFL now dominates the American sporting landscape, but with the lockout looming like Edgar Allen Poe's Raven, we need to step back and take a moment to rethink the Draft obsession. ESPN has led the way. Their influence on the minds of American sports fans is unparalleled. They need to take an active role in toning the coverage down. For the sake of the other sports, which need our attention and demand our respect. The Draft is great but not the only thing happening in sports during a busy spring sports season. To paraphrase Scripture, "Man can not live on Draft alone."

Unless, of course, its Budweiser.