The Pujols Deal from a Tax Perspective

Surprisingly enough, Mark and I have friends. Today we're proud to publish what was originally a facebook note by our mutual friend Ben. I won't speak for Mark, but this post requires about 100 times the brain power that I possess. So put your thinking caps on, and enjoy this guest writer's law school perspective on Albert Pujol's decision.

Just A Lot of Jealousy

By now it's been well documented. The Kings have won the Stanley Cup! They haven't won since they entered the league in 1967! Congrats Wayne Gretzky! Congrats Marcel Dionne, Charlie Simmer, Dave Taylor, Luc Robitaille, Rogie Vachon, and Bob Berry! Congrats long time announcer Bob Miller and all other Kings legends! What a tortured fan base this has been, it's just been kept on the down low! 


The outpour of love for the Kings franchise and fan base has begun. And it's making me sick. This movie is miscast. This script was written for the Blues.


The Blues are now the only team of the NHL's 1967 Expansion 6 that haven't won a Cup. The Flyers won in '74 and '75 with the Broad Street Bullies. The Minnesota North Stars moved to Dallas in 1993 and won their Cup in '99. The California Seals never won, disqualifying them in the Expansion 6 Cup-race. However, they eventually moved to Cleveland and merged with the North Stars, so you could say they got their Cup that way.The Penguins won in '91 and '92. The Kings are now the 2012 champs. The Blues? Still 0-12 in Stanley Cup Final games. Yup, swept by the Canadiens and Bruins three straight years from 1968-1970. 

Friday Fisticuffs: St. Louis Cardinals Edition

lilithnews.com

Welcome to the first of hopefully many Fisticuff Fridays! Each Friday Mark and I will face off in some sort of contest that divides readers at greater than Democrat vs. Republican levels. This week we play "closest to the pin," predicting what some of the Cardinals stat lines will look like at the end of the year. We may or may not have also predicted Mr. Pujols end of the year results. Cause they're hilarious ... -ly bad ... for him. I miss you Albert. 

World Series Game 2 Diary: St. Louis Cardinals vs. Texas Rangers

6:27 - Put a cheeseburger pizza in the oven. It's gonna be a good night. The girlfriend is also in attendance on the basement couch for tonight's game. Hopefully, this doesn't throw off the loner karma that worked so well for the Cards in Game 1.

World Series Game 1 Diary: St. Louis Cardinals vs. Texas Rangers

6:45 - The story has been repeated over and over. Improbable September comeback. Improbable post season wins, etc, etc. This diary will be heavily biased in favor of the Cardinals, just as a head's up. A. I can't believe I'm here, watching the World Series with my favor team in the world about to play. B. My initial reactions to playing Texas in the Series were definitely very middle of the road. I didn't think we'd kill them and I didn't think they'd kill us. I guess we'll see...

The Darkness Before the Dawn

Bare with me and allow me to be the 132704th person to write about the Cardinals heading into the Albert Pujols-less portion of their schedule. When a friend of mine received the bad news a few days ago, he sent me a text that read a little something like this: "Shit shit shit shit." Those words only ran through my head as I watched Pete Kozma get a little too ambitious with a throw from the middle hole of the infield and Pujols get his arm slightly snapped by Wilson Betemit running to first base. But as the news set in that Albert would be missing 4-6 weeks, my anxiety levels weren't all that high. Cardinal Nation began to become a worrisome bunch, especially since this news was following a recent 7-game skid that included getting swept by the under-whelming Washington Nationals. However, to steal a few words from Pink Floyd, "I have become comfortably numb," - though in this case it's without all the hallucinogenic drugs - with the Cardinals' situation. I have felt no panic or worry about the team. Let me give you a few reasons why.

10 Reasons the Cup Is Close - Blues Edition

The 2010-2011 NHL season is officially over. Congratulations to the Bruins and their stuck up, spoiled Boston fans for winning yet another championship. It’s good to see guys like Timmy Thomas, Mark Recchi, and Zdeno Chara get their first rings. But as usual I couldn’t help but think about the Blues, their failure to reach the playoffs this year, and how I wish I was seeing a normal sized David Backes hoisting the Cup rather than Big Z Chara.

So naturally I began to wonder if the Blues have what it takes to get to the Cup (in the next 5 years-ish). It didn’t take me long to decide that the answer was a definite yes, and here’s why (in no particular order):

1.) Doug Armstrong – Blues GM

This past season was Dougie’s first year as Blues GM, and did he ever have the big shoes of Larry Pleau to fill. Pleau was the longest tenured and possibly most successful GM in Blues history from 1997-2010, posting a 260-153-63-16 record in the six year span between 1997-2003. Larry was involved in acquiring players such as Keith Tkachuk, Brad Boyes, Doug Weight, Scott Mellanby, Dallas Drake and Andy McDonald. If you’re keeping track, that’s two Hall of Famers, one assistant coach, one obnoxious backstabber, one net-missing Sabre, and one future Cup winner (fingers crossed). However Mr. Armstrong sees that list and raises it one Chris Stewart and Kevin Shattenkirk. There is no doubt he has the leadership, commitment, and straight up guts to lead this team. There’s no one that fits better with this team or I’d rather have runnin the ship. Doug’s cooler than the other side of the pillow and will make sure the Blues have the parts and pieces to make a Cup within reach.

2.) John Davidson – President of Hockey Operations

If you have actually followed the Blues since at least 2005-2006 then you know that they went from miserably bad to promising/contending within very little time. You can thank John Davidson for that. He helped St. Louis out of the dumps rather than let them rot for a few years. Personally, I’m thankful that he just signed a multi-year extension. Now the perfect combo of Armstrong-Davidson is set for years to come. You can also thank these guys for the fan friendliness of the Blues organization. They’re truly classy and know what they’re doing in every aspect of the business, and if the Blues are gonna win a Cup, they’re going to lead them there.

Killer Kool-Aid?

Before the beginning of this Cardinals' season, a lot of fans were in a bit of a panic mode. Adam Wainwright went down for the season, we signed an aging veteran to a one year deal to attempt to shore up our outfield, and the Reds just seemed like some sort of Red Machine Redux in the eyes of the media and the citizens of Cincinnati. Honestly, I can say I wasn't overly worried about them competing. The baseball season is 162 games long. Anything can, and will, happen in that time span. I can't say I picked the Cardinals to win the Central but I thought they would be competitive as ever. My initial prediction was a close three-team race between the Brewers, Cardinals, and Reds, with the Brewers winning at the end of the season. The main point is, sometime between when I knew enough about sports to make semi-educated predictions and becoming an "adult" (graduating college) I stopped guzzling my teams' Kool-Aid with reckless abandon.

All Time Favorite Obscure Cardinals Players

Watching Pete Kozma hit an RBI double in his first major league at-bat got me thinking. Really, it was his name. It was like a hybrid of Cosmo Kramer's two names: Kozma. And then it got me think of those guys who get a few at-bats in the majors and disappear. This is not to say that Pete will suffer a similar fate to Archibald Wright "Moonlight" Graham. It just made me think of Hector Luna and Luther Hackman. Those Cardinals that weren't really that good but who stuck with you or just make you chuckle when you hear their name (for example, Estaban Yan). So, in honor of that though, I bring you my ten favorite obscure Cardinals. They must have had no particularly great success and not played more than three seasons with the team. Also, my comprehension of baseball stated in 1996 so they had to play sometime after that. Besides that, making this list was quite easy as you will see.

In no particular order:

Jason Simontacchi (2002-2004) - He was actually pretty solid for us for a few years as a back-up starter and sometimes bullpen pitcher. Basically made the list because of his last name and his memorable socks.

Einar Diaz (2005) - A classic scrappy backup catcher of the Tony LaRussa Era. Nothing too classic about his except the fact that he was used in emergency situations in many a MLB Showdown game.

Gene Stechschulte (2000-2002) - A relief pitcher with an awesome last name. The reason he made the list is I remember watching him hit a home run in a rare plate appearance which also happened to be his first career major league at-bat.

Keith McDonald (2000-2001) - A catcher who I think ended up playing in like 10 or 15 games for the Cardinals. He also homered in his first career at-bat as a pinch hitter in a game. Then, homered in his second career at-bat, a feat I think is more rare than the unassisted triple play. It was all the more memorable because I was at the game he hit the second home run.

Shawon Dunston (1999-2000) - Actually a pretty decent player, he was a part of one of the most vivid Cardinal memories I have: the Moth Game of June 22nd, 2000. With Busch Stadium being swarmed by moths due to something in the field's grass, Dunston hit two late-inning home runs, the last of which bounced off Barry Bond's glove in left field to pace the Cardinals to a come-from-behind victory.

Chuck Finley (2002) - For some reason, I've always had a strong affinity towards Chuck Finley and was absolutely tickled when we got him near the trade deadline to aide us in a divisional race. I always remember that he is one of the few pitchers to have ever thrown 4 strikeouts in 2 different innings in his career.

Rick Honeycutt (1996-1997) - One, his name is really cool (and yes, that is really important when it comes to making this list). Two, he was a vital part of my unbelievable season in Ken Griffey Junior's Baseball 1997 for GameBoy. I played all 162 games and went something like 120-42. And Honeycutt had a nasty breaking pitch.

Ray King (2004-2005) - Mostly for the physical comedy that accompanied every time Ray trotting from the bullpen to the pitcher's mound. And that his nickname was Burger. And that I saw countless signs at Busch in a short two year span that referenced said nickname. Good times.

Heatcliff Slocumb (1999-2000) - Well, I think you can guess why he made the list. That's right, awesome name. Really, besides that I can't remember too much. Except that an old childhood friend of mine would always pretend to be him when we were pretending to play baseball in his basement. But once again, this was probably because his name was fun to say.

Fernando Valenzuela (1997) - The only person on the list to make it because of the just plain strangeness of the circumstances. He was a cardinal for such a short time but its still an interesting trivia question. Who was the last team Valenzuela played for? The St. Louis Cardinals. Let's just say that we didn't quite catch Fernando-mania here in the Midwest.

When Life Gives You Lemons, You Make Albertade

A lot has been made about a certain hug between two people in the last forty eight hours. Since I'm usually a pretty optimistic person, I figured I should make light of the situation and have fun with it.

This is, of course, the aftermath of the now infamous hug between Pujols and Chicago Cubs General Manager Jim Hendry. The following are what I believe are the most likely conversations the two men had.

_________________


"Here's lookin' at you Jim."


"Sure! I'd LOVE to play for the Cubs." (winks at Yadier Molina standing behind Hendry)


"Boy oh boy! A real baseball player has finally decided to come to Wrigley Field! Can I have your autograph Mr. Pujols?!"


"So this is why they call it the friendly confines..."


"Jim. You better hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife. Cause I be going 4-for-5 up in hurr."


"You know what they say Jim... It gets harder after the 3rd MVP award."


"Albert, I was wondering if you could lend me some money for an investment.... You see, Soriano said we could extend his contract another 2 years for only 30 million! We can't pass up this deal! Please, help a brother out!"


"You know, 25 home runs, 64 RBIs, and a 1.002 OPS at Wrigley isn't too bad is it Jim?"


"Did you know I have only hit 47 home runs against the Cubbies... ONLY 47!! I'm slacking here Mr. Hendry!"


"Wait?! You really paid Carlos Pena $10 million to flirt with the Mendoza line all season. That's a joke, right? Oh, its not a joke? Well either way that's HILARIOUS!"


"So I says to Dusty, I say, "Dusty, let me tell you something. No one could burn out young arms like you could." And then he tried to shove one of those toothpicks up my nose! Can you believe that?"


"What'da'ya think about that Fukudome?"
"I'd say you overpaid by about a billion yen."


"So Albert, how do you like Wrigley Field?"
"I mean I enjoy hitting here, but the ivy makes my allergies act up."


"What was it like hitting that home run off of Brad Lidge in 2005?"
"Well Jimbo, I never told anyone this but I just closed my eyes like this and hoped for the best."


"How do you do it Albert?"
"Well, you know, I just try to put a good swing on the ball and work hard on every pitch. I just wanted to help my teammates out and put a good swing on the ball and it just happened to be a home run. I just tried to put a good swing on the ball."


"Hey Albert! Take it easy on our boys today, would ya?"
"Maybe when hell freezes over Jimmy."


"Gosh dang it Jim! I already autographed your Steve Bartman replica baseball, 2006 World Series program, your Cubs Suck t-shirt, and your car... I will not autograph your chest."


"There, there Albert. I know it's been 5 years since you won a World Series and a whopping two years since you won an MVP, but look on the bright side. You don't play for the Chicago Cubs."


"What do you think, Jim? Will the NL Central ever win another playoff game? I mean it has been 4 years..."
"Psh four years! Try waiting 103 for a World Series!"


"So are you guys going to stay relevant past June this year or what?"


"Albert, I have a very serious question for you and I figure since you're the best baseball player in the league, you'll give me a straight answer."
"Alright... shoot."
"Was Cobb dreaming at the end of Inception or not?!"


"You think if I touch you, some of your greatness will be transferred to our franchise?"
“Not likely but I guess its worth a try, considering your circumstances

"Como estas senor Hendry?" "Albert... You know I don't speak Spanish."

The Cardinals and the Cubs: Historic, Geographic, Rivalrous

*Disclaimer* In honor of the first game of the year between the St. Louis Cardinals and the Chicago Cubs I decided to write a piece on the historic and great competition that is their 15-18 games a year. The following is probably rehashing of every analysis you've ever read about the Cardinals-Cubs rivalry.

What makes a great rivalry?

A mutual distaste between teams and rabid fan bases? A treasured past filled with anecdotes which intricately weave the fabric of the involved franchises' past? A geographic proximity which commingle opposing fan bases to the point of friendly familiarity?

Well, I know a rivalry not often hailed as a great one in the eyes of the national sports landscape. A hidden treasure within American's favorite pastime that takes place in the Midwest, away from the crazed coasts which act as media black holes. A rivalry untouched by diva athletes, key players switching teams in mid-career, and national attention. A rivalry with so much hate that it’s almost love...

Put them all together and you get the rivalry of the St. Louis Cardinals and the Chicago Cubs.

"What?!," may have been your first reaction to this bold statement. I know. I understand your confusion. The teams have never met in the playoffs since the World Series came into existence in 1903. Seasons in which both teams' relevance in the divisional (or before the current format, pennant) race rarely, if ever, intersect. But there's more to this rivalry than first glance can depict.

First, let us address mutual distaste between teams and fan bases. The Cardinals and the Cubs don't really like each other. This isn't an understatement or an overstatement for that matter. They are divisional foes who face each other 15-18 times a year. Familiarity between the two teams is significant. In recent years, there have been shouting matches between coaches, bench-clearing incidents, dramatic comebacks, and in general, very hotly contested games. I think its safe to say there is a heighten tension between the two teams, who may respect each other but certainly don't like each other.

When considering the past, its hard not to consider the Cards-Cubs rivalry in a league of its own. The two teams have been playing each other since 1885. (The over-hyped Yankees-Red Sox rivalry? They've been playing since 1901.) Harry Caray got his start as an radio announcer with the Cardinals in 1947. Jack Buck arrived and teamed up with Caray in 1954. The two became close. When Caray left for Chicago in 1969, it only added to the allure of the rivalry. Two friends, broadcasting opposing sides. I don't think you see that when the Buckeyes play the Wolverines in football. Yes, the Yankees bought the Bambino away from Boston, but compare that to the absolute theft the Cardinals committed, when they traded Ernie Broglio to the Cubbies for Lou Brock on June 15th, 1964. Broglio played two years as a mediocre (at best) pitcher and Brock became the all-time career leader in steals (until 1991), a member of the 3000 hit club, and a Hall of Famer. And though the lust has been significantly removed from the 1998 home run chase, due to steroid-filled syringes, false denials, and tarnished records, one of the most important events in bringing baseball back to prominence in the national sports landscape involved a Cardinal, Mark McGwire, and a Cub, Sammy Sosa.

However, the most important component of the rivalry is the geographic aspect, which has caused families and friends to split their allegiances down the middle Civil War style. In the early days of the MLB, the Cardinals were the only show in The Show west of the Mississippi River. KMOX radio transmitted across several Midwest states, creating a Cardinals fan base that spanned well past the borders of St. Louis. Chicago eventually had WGN, a television network which, with the aide of the mere size of Chicago and its surrounding suburbs, created another well-extended fan base. But the proximity of the beating hearts in the body of these fan bases are what make the rivalry all the more intriguing.

Allow me a short personal anecdote to illustrate this point. One of my best friends since the 7th grade is a Cubs fan, raised on the Cubs since he was old enough to comprehend baseball. He was born in St. Louis to Illinois transplants, which caused him to be the brunt of many-a-joke throughout middle school and high school. But this is the perfect illustration of the rivalry. I despise the Cubs but I also enjoy jesting with my friend about their haplessness, almost to the point where they have become a pet team. And while they haven't had too much post season success, their record against the Cardinals is always surprisingly respectable. And herein lies the beauty of this rivalry. The down-to-earth feel of the Midwest has encroached into the rivalry creating an environment of harmonious dislike. Cardinals fans and Cubs fans sit next to each other at Busch Stadium and Wrigley Field watch their teams, talk smack to each other, drink beers, and enjoy baseball's greatest rivalry.

Sure, the teams have never met in the playoffs. They haven't played a game meaningful to both sides in probably.... forever. But nothing truly compares to what these two teams have with each other. The history is too thick, the fan bases too intertwined, and the teams all too familiar with each other. I'll take this rivalry over the over-paid, inflated egos of the Red Sox-Yankees, the on-again, off-again intrigue of the Ohio State-Michigan game, and the too heavily influenced by Dick Vitale's commentating factor of the North Carolina-Duke game any day of the week and twice on Sundays.So enjoy baseball fans, one of the best rivalries in all of sports.

Win One for the Big Puma

Before December 4, 2010, whenever I heard the name Lance Berkman a pained expression, somewhere between the look Rudy had after getting denied from Notre Dame a second time and Tim Wakefield’s grimace as Aaron Boone smashed a hanging knuckleball in Game 7 of the 2003 ALCS, would creep across my face. In between December 4^th and March 31, 2011, whenever I heard the name Lance Berkman a skeptical look, similar to the raised eyebrows Drama, E, and Vince’s gave Turtle when he told them he had hooked up with Jamie-Lynn Sigler on an airplane.

However, now when I hear his name, my face is a cross between the gleeful look of a seven year old on Christmas and the forced expression in a certain Lonely Island music video.

Lance Berkman is currently destroying the National League with ferocity similar to that of Sherman’s march across Georgia to the Atlantic Ocean. As off the publication of this post, Berkman ranked second in batting average (.392, only trailing teammate Matt Holliday), second in home runs (10), first in runs batted in (32), third in runs scored (25), first in slugging percentage (.775), and first in on-base plus slugging percentage (1.237). I must say that even the most optimistic Cardinals’ fans and baseball pundits didn’t have Berkman getting out to this scorching start. Currently, he is single-handedly (or double-handedly along with Matt Holliday) propelling the Cardinals to leading the league in runs, batting average, and on-base percentage.

Since he became a part of my favorite sports team, I have attempted to read extensively on the man. He appears to be an absolute class act that was put into a difficult situation in Houston due to a season-long slump and a knee surgery. Fresh off a disappointing finish to the season with the Yankees, Berkman rededicated himself to a vigorous conditioning regiment and regained the leg strength he so lacked last year. And all of baseball is seeing the results.

I think it’s safe to say I have a man crush on the Big Puma. I used to pee in my pants like Fuller after he'd had too many Pepsi’s every time he walked to the plate against the Cardinals because he absolutely killed them. Now, I’m giddy with anticipation when he strides to the plate (especially when he’s at Busch as Johnny Cash’s God’s Gonna Cut You Down plays in the background).

So here’s to you Big Puma: a classy ball player who has dedicated himself to the game and plays baseball the way it ought to be played. A man who may be one of the most underrated players of the 2000s, a man who I would be shocked if I ever heard had used steroids in a era filled with filthy numbers (filthy in a bad way), and a man who still lacks a World Series ring. Swept out of the Series in 2005 after defeating his current club in the NLCS, Berkman has never come remotely close to the sweet jewelry before or since.

My wish for you Big Puma is that a Cardinals team which came into the season amidst turmoil through injury and uncertainty can provide you the necessary surroundings to help you capture a nice rock.

One that would even make Kobe's wife, post Colorado incident, jealous.

Rodents are Prevalent: Franklin's Gopher Balls and Punxsutawney Phil

Since reading my first Bill Simmons column a few years back, I have been in love. I know what you're thinking but no, I didn't fall for ole Billy. (However, in a related note, he did quickly establish himself as my favorite sports writer.) No, I fell for the sport/movie extended metaphor which plays a role in Bill's unique style and sense of humor.

The love affair was only natural. My two favorite things to discuss and watch, sports and movies, combined in a humorous and informative way into one topic is one of the best things I have happened across in the last few years. Well, that and Christopher Nolan's filmography. Comparing seemingly unrelated movies and the happenings in the current sports landscape is not only a challenging mental exercise, but a way to create a hybrid topic which appeals to both film fanatics and sports supporters. So without further ado, in honor of Mr. Simmons and a topic which has frustrated myself and many of my St. Louis-based friends, I give you Groundhog Franklin.

Any baseball fan around 18 years of age or older has had the feeling for at least a season (or maybe two or three). Your roster has someone established as your closer who just absolutely loses their stuff. They can't paint the corners. They hang breaking balls. They get a pained look across their face eerily similar to Steve Bartman in Game 6 as they watch balls sail out of the park. And the guy who had 30 saves for your team last year now has a 8.75 ERA and an extremely bruised ego.

Enter the 2011 edition of the St. Louis Cardinals and their closer, Ryan Franklin, two years removed from a season where he had 38 saves and a 1.92 ERA. First game of the 2011 season, the Cardinals have a 3-2 lead entering the bottom of the ninth inning. Franklin retires the first two batters with deceitful ease. Then hangs a breaking ball that David Eckstein could have hit 500 hit feet to Cameron Maybin, who proceeds to launch it out of the park for a game-tying home run. Needless to say, the Cards lost in 11 innings. And then, as New Found Glory famously says, "it's all downhill from here." Franklin goes on to blow 4 out of 5 save opportunities, compile a pleasant 0-3 record, and accumulate a sadly robust 8.68 ERA in 9.1 innings of work.

Now how does this tie into a sports/movie metaphor? Well, from my perspective, watching Franklin stroll in from the bullpen makes me feel like Phil Connors hearing those sad Sonny and Cher lyrics, "then put your little hand in mine," over and over and over again as he repeats the same day of his life in the movie Groundhog Day. The parallels begin at the beginning of the movie, with Phil being a successful yet mean-spirited meteorologist. Franklin, while not mean-spirited, had success at the beginning of his tenure in St. Louis. However, things take a turn for the worst for both gentlemen when Phil gets stuck in his time loop and Franklin gets stuck in his "I can't hold a lead to save my life" phase.

Franklin's demotion from the closer role is the equivalent of Phil's "I'm going to attempt as many forms of suicide as possible" phase. Both hit the lowest of lows and are overcome with despair. Franklin decides to decry St. Louis fans, who have a well-known reputation as being some of the best fans in baseball, and Phil steals Punxsutawney Phil (the famous groundhog) and drives off a cliff. Old RF then gets thrown into several vital but non-save opportunities during the latter parts of close games. He continues to fail miserably just as Phil attempts to do good deeds and embrace the townspeople in order to break the time loop and inevitably still fails. The feeling Cardinals fans get when Franklin gives up a late inning RBI single is similar to the same feeling Phil gets when his love interest, Rita, slaps him after several failed advances. Both Cards fans and Phil are left with a pained, though not quite shocked, look on their face. Because let's be honest, this has happened before.

To further delve into the metaphor let's say that Tony LaRussa is Punxsutawney Phil because he went down with the ship that is Franklin, in a similar fashion that the groundhog went down in flames with Phil Connors as they drove off the cliff. Colby Rasmus is the infamous Ned Ryerson, a dunce-type insurance salesman who went to high school with Phil and happens to see him in Punxsutawney though the parallels are merely a comment on both inviduals apparent level of intelligence. Albert Pujols (at least the 2011 version) is the homeless man that Phil attempts to save from his imminent death before the day is over. Both characters are loveable and you want to see them succeed, but they keep ripping your hear out. The Cardinals' starting pitching staff are the Punxsutawney townspeople, both of which are continually getting screwed by Franklin and Phil, respectively. And Lance Berkman is Rita, because he has been saving Franklin's ass from avoiding an early-season implosion by putting up ridiculous numbers, much in the way Rita saves Phil and aides in the breaking of the time loop.

Fortunately for Phil, he does eventually get to February 3rd by befriending the townspeople and living a "perfect" day. Unfortunately for Cardinals' fans, there has been no indication that Franklin will ever reach a similar epiphany, as he continues to miss his spots and serve up gopher balls to unassuming hitters. The repetition is quite sickening. Close game, Franklin enters, Cardinals fans groan, he gives up some runs. Phil wakes up, hears Sonny cooing those words, smashes his alarm clock, and lives another Groundhog Day.

Currently, there is no end in sight. Franklin entered Sunday with the game tied and would get the loss by allowing a walk-off single in the ninth. At least Phil Connors got to hone some skills while stuck in the time warp, including learning French and how to ice sculpt and play the piano. I don't think Franklin has really learned anything, except how to turn some of baseball's best fans against you and make mediocre hitters look as clutch as Big Papi circa 2004. Sadly, LaRussa continues to stubbornly put Franklin in in clutch situations. And Franklin continues to drop the ball, or in this case, allow the ball to leave the park at extremely high velocities.

For the time being, Cardinals fans are stuck in quite a time loop, but look on the bright side: at least there's no Sonny and Cher involved in this one.

Blues 2010-2011 Grades

As with any team in any sport, the season eventually comes to an end. Sometimes with a solid playoff appearance, many times not even that far and most rarely of all with a championship victory. Then comes the lull for the fans. Fans of a championship team have the privilege to celebrate for weeks before beginning to think about the next year. But for the rest of us, reflection of the season that was sets in. Excitement, optimism, worry and panic for the next year are a few months away. In order to gain closure on the Blues 2010-2011 season lets look at each individual, grading their performance. For the NHL challenged, each player will also be compared to another athlete so you can get a feel for what type of player each Blue is.

Order: # of games played, least to most

Ben Bishop: 7gp, 2.76 GAA .899 SV% - B-
Chaminade grad Bishop gets a B- on the year. This is the type of B- where you're sitting on a 79.5% but the teacher mercifully bumps you up. He had 2 outstanding games, 2 good games, and 3 stinkers. The potential is there but the consistency isn't. He's a lot like Rick Porcello of the Detroit Tigers. Potential is there but how much? You wouldn't be surprised if he becomes a solid #2 pitcher, (solid NHL starter) or a decent #3/4 pitcher (good NHL backup). Only time will tell.

Blues Wrap-Up

Anyone who watched the Blues 2010-2011 season rode the cliche "roller coaster" of ups and downs. However disturbingly the ride seemed to be a majority of down slopes after the impressive 9-1-2 start in October. Compared to the 2009 heroic late season surge to the playoffs and 2010's choking away of leads in the third, this season lacked the emotional toying of the heart but in the end was very predictable. Ever since Joe "I ruin young careers full of potential" Thornton elbowed Mr. Perron in the head, the team seemed to be going no where. But it wasn't just Perron's absence that lowered spirits. The team lost Jackman, Steen, McDonald, Halak, Coliaccovo, Polak, Sobotka and Oshie for extended periods of time. 2009 took on the youngsters with something to prove aura. They never gave up and made an improbable playoff push becoming one of the hottest teams in league within the last few months. Unfortunately they were swept by a the Canuckleheads in the first round. 2010 became a season full of promise, ultimately sliding away. Yet it was ok, the team was young, it was a learning experience. 2011 will be seen as the year of excuses. It started with great expectations. First as a dangerous playoff team, then as a legitimate contender. But that didn't last long. As soon as Perron went down and the injury bug bit a few players the team seemed to take on the "well this isn't our year either" attitude. You could see it coming a mile away. Unfortunately the pile of injuries only grew throughout, never giving the team a chance to regain confidence and surge back. Flashes of brillance hit here and there. The Blues beat some top notch teams, but then would fall to teams like the Blue Jackets. Yes, the Bjs. In the end it became pretty predictable. We weren't going to make the playoffs. We had already decided to give up. No worries, we can blame injuries. We lost our star in the making. We lost our veteran D-man. We lost our up and coming goaltender. We lost our spark plug. The forgiving St. Louis fans will be compassionate as always. Well time is running out. The fans, and ownership have given plenty of chances. It's time to start winning no matter how young, or injured the team is. If the Johnson/Stewart trade didn't send the message, i don't know what would. I have full confidence in this team, and really am full of optimism going into the offseason. I can't wait til next year, hopefully it will be an uphill ride.

Cardinals Friday Meeting

Scene: Busch Stadium locker room. Tony Larussa is standing in front of Pujols, Holliday, Wainwright, and Carpenter.

LaRussa: Ok guys, that loss yesterday was brutal, we can play better than that. You guys are the leaders of this team, what are we gonna do to prevent that from happening again?

Wainwright: Get me a new arm?

Carpenter: Get me a defense?

Holliday: My stomach hurts.

LaRussa: Shut up, Matt.

Pujols: We lost?

LaRussa: Yes Albert, we lost. In large part cause of your grounding into 3 double plays.

Pujols: I promise I won't hit into three double plays for you next year...

Carpenter: This is my fault. I knew if I didn't throw a perfect game we'd lose.

LaRussa: You did fine, it's not like you gave up a bomb with 2 outs in the ninth...

Franklin (poking head in door): I heard that.

LaRussa: Sorry Ryan.

(John Mozeliak runs in the door crying and kneels at Pujol's feet)

Mozeliak: Please Albert, please don't leave. If you stay I'll name the team after you, I'll make LaRussa apologize for the 2007 all-star game, I'll give you my firstborn child, I won't tell that you use ster..

Pujols: Whats that?

Mozeliak: Nothing.

Holliday: My stomach hurts.

LaRussa: Shut up, Matt.

Schumaker: Hey guys, have you seen my shake weight?

Carpenter (picks up and tosses "shake weight for women"): Yeah, here.

(Schumaker drops it)

Pujols: Didn't you used to play outfield?

Wainwright (to Mozeliak): Can we trade him for a closer?

Mozeliak: I've tried, every other team realizes his value as a triple A backup.

(Rasmus enters)

Rasmus: You guys see that Reds walkoff?

LaRussa (to Mozeliak): I told you he's a traitor! He's a cancer to our team, trade him.

Mozeliak: I've tried, every other team realizes that he's an outfielder full of potential that he'll never reach, is injury prone, and the ladies love him but he is really only good for a 2 week hot streak, and beyond that is utterly useless.

Carpenter: Like J.D. Drew?

Mozeliak: Not even that good.

Pujols: Like Rick Ankiel?

Mozeliak: Ok better than that.

(Theriot enters)

Theriot: I'm gonna put up a big sign that says "The Riot" over my locker! How cool is it that my name spells the words, the and riot?!

Rasmus: Woah, you're right it does!

Pujols: You didn't know that?..

LaRussa: They don't teach reading and writing until 8th grade in Georgia. Colby didn't get that far.

Theriot: Roll me that duct tape will ya Waino?

(Wainwright rolls the duct tape over, Theriot fumbles it under a table and down a vent)

(Enter Mike Shannon)

Shannon: Hey boys ha ha. Listen to er this here er joke I found on the world wide web ha ha. Apparently you’re not allowed to bring an I-Pad into Yankee Stadium. Which means if you want to look at an expensive, overrated slab at a Yankee game, you’ll just have to watch A-Rod. ha ha. ha. ha ha ha.

Wainwright: What'd he say?

Holliday: My stomach hurts.

Carpenter: I thought he wasn't allowed in here when he's drunk?

Pujols: But then he'd never be allowed in.

Carpenter: Exactly.

(Shannon passes out in a locker)

LaRussa: Lets get out of here before he wakes up.

(LaRussa and Wainwright sprint to the door. Carpenter pulls a groin getting up too quickly, while Pujols jogs making sure not to break a nail.)