As the United States Men's National Soccer Team (MNST) lines up to hear their country's anthem Sunday afternoon in our nation's capital against Jamaica in the Gold Cup quarterfinals, the loud speakers shouldn't blare Francis Scott Key's Star Spangled Banner. A more appropriate anthem would be Katy Perry's Hot 'n Cold.
Only extreme frustration would force me to compare one of my favorite teams in all of sports to a pop star's crappy second career single. But extreme frustration is usually what I feel when I settle down to watch the Sons of Sam play. Why do I feel this frustration? Because I know the current cast of characters (if Holden and Feilhaber are included of course) can compete with any team in the world but still has trouble playing the likes of Panama and Guadeloupe.
"They can't compete with any team in the world," you may say with incredulity that I would say such a thing. I would then counter and say "They can," and give you proof with a victory over Spain and a 2-0 halftime lead on Brazil, arguably the world's two best teams two years ago, not to mention a 1-1 draw with Argentina in a recent friendly.
You might then say, "Explain how they can lose to Panama, Paraguay, and that same Spain team by a score of 4-0." I would then say "Ask Katy Perry," and she'd have this to say:
"'Cause you're hot then you're cold. You're yes then you're no. You're in then you're out. You're up then you're down. You're wrong when it's right. It's black and it's white. We fight, we break up. We kiss, we make up."
You would then probably look at me with disgust because I associated something so awesome (MNST) with something so lame (the song Hot n' Cold). But I would say it perfectly describes the squad and, strangely enough, my feelings towards them.
It took a while, but I think you are beginning to understand what I'm saying. The main thing the US team lacks (besides possibly depth) is consistency. They can have a sophomoric defensive lapse in the first five minutes against England, then play even with them the rest of the way (not to mention almost winning that game if Jozy finishes later on in the second half). They can give Slovenia two goals on lazy defensive midfield play in the first half, then storm back in the second, look like world busters, and be robbed of a win in the waning moments. They can make stupid mistakes (see: Ricardo Clark) and go down quickly, then dominate possession, shots, and chances the next half (see: 2nd half versus Ghana). Then give it all back again in extra time! The back and forth nature of this squad is just as sickening as the brutally cliche lyrics of the song I just quoted.
The inconsistency that constantly hangs over this team is perfectly personified through a single player: Jozy Altidore (he's not the only one but he's a perfect example). After having a, hmmm... how do I put this nicely, poor showing at the 2010 World Cup and either pretty much disappearing or not participating in the friendlies leading up to the 2011 Gold Cup, Altidore exploded for two goals, one of which could be classified as spectacular. Maybe it was the quality of competition, though Altidore has had good games against Mexico before, but Jozy is maddeningly inconsistent. Some of this may be attributed to his lack of playing time over in Europe, but it might just be that he doesn't necessarily run his motor at full speed all the time. The guy is only 21, so there is still a chance he will play an important role in squad's future, but "he's up and he's down," really does fit Jozy's performances throughout the years.
The team's inconsistency then adds to the love-hate relationship between myself and the squad. I love this team. I know the players, I've seen them play overseas. The veterans of this current squad are the ones who got me into soccer in the first place during the 2002 dream run in the World Cup. These guys feel like family.
But, boy, there are times when I hate them. Almost so much so that I wish I had been born in a place where being true is easier, like Brazil or Germany. It's as if I want to break up with them. For example, while visiting a friend in California during the 2010 World Cup, I got up to watch all the group games early one in the tournament. This meant I would get up at 4:30 AM watch three games and run on fumes the rest of the day. I did this for eight days. Why, you might ask, did I wake up so early to watch matches like New Zealand-Slovakia? Well, one, because I love the World Cup. Two, because I was watching every game to understand how different teams play. Three, I thought for some strange reason, I was scouting some of the US's future opponents assuming they were going to make some miracle run through the tournament.
So one of those fateful days, I arose at 4:30 AM, eyes watering and scratchy, to watch the US continue their march to a spot in the round of 16. They had tied the most talented team in their group, England, on what many deemed "a howler." They found themselves playing a Slovenia team, the smallest country - by population - in the 2010 World Cup. My adrenaline quickly sky-rocketed as the squads took the field. Boy, did I love this team. I'd been waiting four years for these games. Every pass, dribble, shot, and header was magnified infinitely. And they quickly found themselves in a 2-0 hole against a less-than-formidable opponent. Boy, did I hate this team. I watched with my friend, a much calmer spectator than me, so I had to keep my cool. If I had been alone that day, I would have broken everything in sight. But then the cardiac kids from the US of A climbed back, scored twice, including a goal by my favorite player Michael Bradley, and then were robbed of a victory. Boy, did I love this team.
So one of those fateful days, I arose at 4:30 AM, eyes watering and scratchy, to watch the US continue their march to a spot in the round of 16. They had tied the most talented team in their group, England, on what many deemed "a howler." They found themselves playing a Slovenia team, the smallest country - by population - in the 2010 World Cup. My adrenaline quickly sky-rocketed as the squads took the field. Boy, did I love this team. I'd been waiting four years for these games. Every pass, dribble, shot, and header was magnified infinitely. And they quickly found themselves in a 2-0 hole against a less-than-formidable opponent. Boy, did I hate this team. I watched with my friend, a much calmer spectator than me, so I had to keep my cool. If I had been alone that day, I would have broken everything in sight. But then the cardiac kids from the US of A climbed back, scored twice, including a goal by my favorite player Michael Bradley, and then were robbed of a victory. Boy, did I love this team.
It's what this team always does. You fight and break up with them (see: halftime of the Slovenia game). Then, you kiss and make up with them (see: Bradley's thrilling goal late in the second half). It's been like this for years. And there's no escaping it. They played a very solid game against an average to semi-good Canada team. Then, they laid an absolute egg against Panama. They scored in the 9th minute of the game against Guadeloupe and looked prepared for a romp, then they failed to score the rest of the game.
I guess they just want to keep me on my toes. I see the potential in them every time they decide to bring their a-game to the field. I know they are capable of that coveted deep World Cup run. I know they can win a FIFA-sanctioned competition. But in order to get to more competitive tournaments, they need to win the one in front of them now. Though CONCACAF gets no respect due to a serious lack of depth (and because they probably don't deserve much respect), it's not easy playing with a bull's-eye on your back like the US does in every Gold Cup game they play. They need to put what I'm calling the "Panamanian Catastrophe" behind them and focus on the task at hand. I love this team. I've said it before and I'll say it again. There's few sports' thrills I enjoy more than watching them take the field during an important competition. But there's no time for cold anymore. No time for being down, out, or wrong. We need hot and we need it now.
While Katy's lover in the song may have been able to tolerate their up and down relationship, the one I have with the Men's National Soccer Team often makes me angry, sick, and frustrated. I can't do this much longer. So I hope they get their act together, beat Jamaica, kill Panama in a rematch in the semis, and beat their hated rivals, Mexico, in the finals. Because I know they can. Because I love them too much. And mostly because I'm sick of them making me feel all hot and cold all the time.
Amen. I used to think the US just played to the level of their opponent, but the inconsistency runs much, much deeper than that. I just can't fathom why this is, though. It can't be ineptitude, because we've seen the team play to world class level. But it also can't be that we're overlooking teams, or taking them to lightly. Maybe in the Gold Cup that'll happen, but not in the World Cup. It's just maddening.
ReplyDeleteSeeing Clint Dempsey, I'd say out most talented player, try and control the ball from one yard out instead of tapping it in, and it being stolen away, sums up this team and all my frustrations perfectly.