I hear you. "Stanley Cup over/unders? Lord Stanley's playoffs already ended. The Kings beat the Devils. You just wrote about it! Clown fisticuffs, bro." But no worries, this is a little different. These over/unders are actually about Lord Stanley's Cup. We all know about the Cup's rich tradition, crazy places its been, stories of what it's held, and tales of its undoubtedly unlikely survival amidst inordinate inebriation. So today we bring you over/unders on the Cup's 2012 summer journey with the Kings. Each player gets one day with it. What will happen? One can only guess...and we will.
Now before we get started you should know that I'm the one inventing these absurd benchmarks and making my hypothesis first. Meaning, either the same side may be taken multiple times, or Mark may take the opposition just to play devil's advocate so to speak. Nonetheless, I can't wait to see articles popping up of the Cup's summer adventure, some of them hopefully confirming our over/unders here.
1.) Lets start on the tamer side. How many countries will the Cup travel to? Over/under 3.5? (no dice for passing through)
John - According to the King's website there are 4 nationalities represented on the squad: Canadian, Amurican, Slovenian, and Russian. Usually each player takes the Cup home on his day. It's common to hear stories of entire towns coming out to see the Stanley Cup, having great gatherings and parades with it. But ya never know, that flight to Russia is a long one. Checking bags/Cups isn't cheap either. Especially when you already spent $157,000 on a bar tab. I don't buy what I'm selling though. Over.
Mark - First, I must establish that John picked a topic I know very little on. Second, I don't have his tendency towards humor when it comes to hockey. This being said, I'll go with the under. Lord Stanley's Cup, I'll call it Stan for short, is a bit ponderous. I expect that to make travel difficult.
2.) How many different types of beverages will the Cup hold? Over/under 9.5?
John - I'm grouping all alcoholic beverages into one here, otherwise it'd be over/under 195.5. But it's gotta be over here. Dustin Brown already had his kids blowing chocolate milk bubbles in the Cup. Just imagine the number of creative ideas actually intelligent King's could come up with.
Mark - I will rebut with the under. Off the ice, hockey players aren't creative. They like stuff like hunting and trucker hats. Colt .45 and Yoo-hoo are in Stan's future.
(editors note: I think Mark has confused Canada with the Southern United States. As much as Bettman wants hockey to survive there, there still aren't too many hunting fiends that have trucker tendencies in the NHL, to my knowledge)
3.) Number of Dustin Penner hairs that surface in the Cup? Over/under 1.5?
John - I went with a low number here cause lets be honest, he already shaved off 75% of the goods. I mean seriously, he went from this to this. But those cookie dusters can be fickle, so I'm goin over. Penner doesn't seem like he'd drink in a hoity toity manner anyway. I'm guessing he'd go with this technique.
Mark - I'm going to play the percentages and go with over. Not much else to say about that.
4.) Number of times the Cup comes in contact with...ya know? Over/under .5?
John - Alright so this isn't the most pleasant of over/unders but hey it happens, and who are we not to predict and analyze it, should it occur? Anyways, rumors are in 1940 the Rangers accidentally lit Lord Stanley on fire and put it out, not with water, but the next best thing...pee. Now it may seem far fetched for that to happen again, but Richards and Carter aren't on "dry island" any more. It's party city LA, I'm goin over; we just won't hear about it for ten years.
Mark - I still believe in the decency of the common man! I'm taking the under.
5.) Number of times the Cup is dropped? Over/under .5?
John - It happened to Michael Ryder, and again, Dustin Brown is on the team. Over.
Mark - Dropping trophies seems to be the reg in sports these days. I'll also take the over.
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